I stopped drinking alcohol on 2nd January 2021. I felt that ditching alcohol was the single biggest change I could make that would improve all areas of my life. Three years later, I can say it is one of the best decisions I have made.
This post features some reflections and lessons learned after one year of not drinking. It’s a redaction of an original list that I wrote in early 2022. I have some upcoming posts on structured techniques that I use to guide others to re-examine their relationship with alcohol, this is a just prosaic list but you may find it useful.
1 Education and mindset Shift: In the early days, a bit of willpower helps, but it's the education and mindset shift that truly make you comfortable in your alcohol-free skin. It takes time for new information about alcohol to sink in. Meanwhile, distractions like walks, video games, ice cream, or baths help squash any immediate urges that crop up.
1a. Fresh Morning Coffee: In the very early days when you’re contemplating a night-cap, play the tape forward to feeling fresh for your morning coffee instead. It's an easy win.
2. The First Month's Milestone: Aiming for a month of sobriety is significant. Even moderate regular drinkers (within government guidelines) will experience brain volume and function loss in areas including the hippocampus and pre-frontal cortex. A properly functioning pre-frontal cortex regulates our thoughts and emotions, so no wonder the early days are tough if this area is compromised. Fortunately, this damage is mostly reversible after a month of sobriety. After this, the need for willpower decreases, and your new mindset and education take the lead.
3. Scientific Reading: Google Scholar is excellent for bedtime reading. Search for alcohol's effects on different health aspects. Try seeing how any of the beliefs you had about alcohol being good for you stand up against the rigours of science. It's an eye-opening process and reinforces the decision to quit.
3a. Understanding the Dopamine Hijack: Alcohol piggybacks the brain’s reward circuitry, which has evolved to motivate us seek the things we need to survive, such as food. Chocolate (not natural, but very addictive) raises dopamine levels by around 50 % above baseline. Alcohol raises it by around 150 %. What goes up must come down and the following dopamine crash can only be addressed by consuming more alcohol. This is the essence of the trap.
4. Physical Exercise: Exercise offers highs that last longer than any substance. It influences other life aspects like diet, sleep, and social interactions. Being active at any level is beneficial, and developing fitness and skills in pursuit of a larger goal is the best way to hoover up all that free time you’ll be getting.
5. Social Perceptions: Only a couple of people have commented that I was more fun while drinking and they only said it to make themselves feel better about their drinking. Does drinking really make you funnier? Try standing outside a kebab shop at 3am when the nightclubs kick out. I used to think I was fun when drunk, but in reality, I was more of a disruption.
6. Facing Your Triggers: Confront each challenge to your sobriety e.g. meeting friends, watching sports, the end of the working week, one at a time. The first time is always hardest and may take some willpower. With each revisit, it gets easier as you learn that the anxiety and cravings don’t last forever.
7. Going out: I still enjoy social outings without the need for alcohol. I focus on the positive aspects of being sober in social settings e.g. the social buzz, that you will remember everyone’s name, remember what you are talking about…The best part of the night is always at the start. As soon as I notice the decline, I leave. No need for goodbyes; several drinks in people don’t remember who’s there and who’s not.
8. Thorough Education: It's essential to examine every trigger or reason for drinking. Destroying these reasons through scrutiny and research is key to mental freedom. Make a list of every positive thing you think alcohol does for you, and then examine it for objective truth. E.g. Belief: alcohol relaxes me. Truth: it increases my heart rate and leads to arguments.
9. Appreciating the Little Things: Life isn’t meant to be a dull grind between weekend blowouts. The joy in life often lies in small moments and interactions, which become more apparent when the mind is free from alcohol. In-jokes, funny stories in the car, tea and cake after digging a friend’s lawn…Look out for this tiny winkling interactions.
10. Paying into the Health Pension: I’m in my forties and want to be active and vigorous into at least my seventies. Every sober day contributes to a 'Health Pension', both physical and mental. Chronic drinkers (even within government guidelines) are in ‘Red Queen’ land; getting tired and going nowhere.
Regular alcohol consumption institutionalises us. It is unnerving to consider ‘life on the outside’. Soon though you will fill your life up with all the good things that were repelled by alcohol, and these revolve around the axis of your newly restored health trajectory.
To anyone starting this journey, trust the process and believe that it gets easier with time. If you think you may be at a genetic disadvantage, I'm a mix of English, Irish and Scottish ancestry so if I can do it, you can too. Add to that, I live in Newquay, a town notorious for its 'surf hard, party harder' heritage. You will soon be living a life full of things that you would not trade for any type of alcohol.
Gallery: three things that used to lead to beer at the end of the day. Now I enjoy them for their own sake. L-r: fishing in Costa Rica; mid-winter surfing at Great Western Beach, Newquay; fucntional fitness any night of the week.
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